


Name's Lyman, Josh Lyman, The

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-06-19
Updated: 2003-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-30 21:59:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15105692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Pranks, late nights and James Bond





	Name's Lyman, Josh Lyman, The

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**The Name's Lyman, Josh Lyman**

**by:** Sassy Susan 

**Disclaimer:** No WW character belong to me and neither does Nike or any James Bond Characters. I'm also not assosciated with any of them in any way. I'm not making money from this, just having a little fun.

**Category:** Romance/Humour, Josh/Donna

**Spoilers:** None, except a few little ones for S1 and 2, but you'd hardly notice.

**Rating:** PG-13

**Author's Note:** Just a little piece I wrote, nice, light and fluffy. Josh POV. As always thankyou to my gem of a friend and beta reader, Abby. 

"Joshua?" 

Oh I know that tone. That would be Donna's 'I-don't-care-if-I-have-to-drag-your-sorry-Fulbright-scholar-ass-outta-here-you're-going-home' tone. It means she's about 5 minutes away from taking away my electricity, grabbbing me by the tie and forcing me out of the building, and she actually has done it before, literally. The woman is freakishly strong. 

"Yes Donnatella?" 

"What are you doing?" 

"It's called work Donna, you should try it sometime." 

"Adding Sam's name and e-mail address to pornographic mailing lists is not work." 

"No, but it's funny as hell, and it really is, trust me". 

Especially when Leo asks him in the middle of staff if he knows that e-mail from outside sources is monitored by the White House and to please 'refrain from that sort of activity in the future'. 

"So what are you doing?" 

"Writing." 

"Having X-rated mags sent to CJ's office every week is also not work Josh." 

"Yes it is and I did that yesterday anyway." 

"It's also not funny." 

Actually, it really is. Especially as I make sure that they have to be opened and signed by at least 3 different people before they actually reach CJ. 

"So, what are you writing?" 

"A letter." 

"If thats another love letter to the editor of The Washington Post on Toby's behalf, you needn't bother. Everyone knows it's you sending them." 

"Like they can prove it." 

Again, very funny. I particularly liked the part where the guy came down here and told Toby, and pretty much the whole West Wing, that he was happily married and didn't return his feelings. 

"The same way everyone knows you're the one pulling every other stupid stunt round here." 

"Can they prove it?" 

"Not yet." 

"Not ever." 

"They will." 

"Yeah, but will that be before or after we're out of office?" 

"There's a lot of high-tech stuff and methods to prove stuff like that. The FBI can trace things back to anyone." 

"True, but I think the FBI might be a little busy solving actual cases and also a little busy laughing the rest of the senior staff out of the room." 

"Don't worry Josh, you'll get your comeuppance." 

Comeuppance? What, am I a movie baddie all of a sudden? It's a few little office pranks not trying to take over the world. 

"Donna I'm the Deputy Chief of Staff, not James Bond's evil adversary." 

"You could be." 

"Could be what?" 

"Bond's evil adversary." 

"I wanted to be James Bond. I could be James Bond." 

"No you couldn't." 

"True, I'm much better looking." 

"True, But your British accent sucks." 

Ok, anyone else notice that Donna just said that I was better looking than James Bond? Maybe I do......... 

"Plus Britain would never be stupid enough to let you work as a spy." 

"Why not?" 

"Do you really want a list?" 

"Do you wanna help me do some work Moneypenny?" 

"No, because it's 11:30pm and we're going home." 

"Right, because I forgot that there's a magical button on the presidents desk that switches the country off every night." 

"You're going home Josh." 

"I'm writing a letter." 

"Im sure you can write fake love letters from lovesick old women to Sam tommorow." 

Actually it's fake love letters from bored housewives to Leo, but Donna doesn't need to be enlightened to that fact. 

"It's an important letter Donna." 

"Joshua." 

"Yes Moneypenny?" 

"MOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

"Yes Moneypenny." 

I'm not a pushover or anything, but I love it when she gets strict, it's a big turn-on. Like she's one of my teachers or something.........not that I ever fantasized about my teachers. Hell no, they were like big, bearded, she-male army majors. Donna's sexy........not that I spend all my time fantasizing about her or having inappropriate thoughts about my assistant, who if I'm being honest is good enough to eat, just a large portion of my time. 

Jesus Christ the parking lot is cold, see, this is one of the times I want to sweep Donna up in my arms and..................and there is one of those inapprorpriate moments again. 

"And just so that you know, Josh, I never wanted to be Miss Monneypenny." 

"Why not?" 

"Simple. Monneypenny never got any from James." 

"So who did you want to be?" 

"Pussy Galore." 

Oh my god, I just choked myself on hot coffee. From the feel of my throat and mouth, you'd think I'd just swallowed sulphuric acid. She's gotta be kidding. 

"Is something funny Josh?" 

"You said that just to make me do that, didn't you?" 

"Yep." 

"Was that my comeuppance?" 

"No." 

"What, suddenly having my throat and mouth burnt away isn't enough comeuppance?" 

"No." 

"When should I look forward to that?" 

"When your crimes against the West Wing have been proven." 

"When will that be?" 

"Now." 

I don't believe it. She's just pulled a tape recorder from her pocket. She's taped everything. 

"Was that on in the office." 

"Yes." 

"Was it taping my inadvertant confessions?" 

"Yes." 

"Was it all a set up?" 

"Yes." 

She's got that flirtatious look in her eyes again, the one that makes me think that maybe Joey Lucas isn't a nutter after all. These are the moments that make me think I should, in Sam's words, 'Pull a Nike and Just Do It'. Like I said, those are Sam's words, not mine. 

"Is there anything I could do that would get you to change your mind and not hand that tape over to the others?" 

"Maybe a......." 

"Anything that won't involve a pay rise?" 

"Perhaps a....." 

"Anything that won't involve a trip to Hawwaii?" 

"Let me think." 

It's weird cos I'm having mental images of everyone telling me how bad it would be to do what I'm thinking of doing now and how it will probably earn me a kick in the groin and a sexual harassment lawsuit. Except Sam who's jumping around, waving a Nike sign and shouting 'Just do it!'. Of course the first lot are more likely to be......ahh screw it. 

"Would this do it Donna?" 

And now I'm kissing her. Y'know how you have an expectation of how good something is gonna be and then turns out to be a huge disappointment? Well this is so not one of those times! This is so much better than I ever imagined, I'm not even sure how I'm even making coherent thought right now. I'ts also reassuring to know that Donna's not kicking me off her and screaming assault... unless of course I've made a huge mistake and she dived out of the way so that I'm currently kissing her car. Ok, gotta check... nope, still her. Thank god. It's also good to see that now she isn't staring at me in shock or confusion, but is smiling up at me, arms wrapped around my waist. 

"Was that what you had in mind Donna?" 

"Actually I was going to ask for some time off." 

And there was me thinking I hadn't made a total ass of myself. 

"But I think that was much better." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah." 

"Well, the names Lyman, Josh Lyman." 

"Josh?" 

"Yeah?" 

"I wasn't lying, your British accent really does suck." 


End file.
